"It's Only a Beard Dude!"
As I bomb around the city on my Brompton, I have noticed that there is a new fashion trend on the rise. I keep seeing these dudes, sporting these huge beards! There is nothing particularly new about the beard, but these are definitely different - They are bigger and bushier.
Facial hair has alway been a symbol of manliness (no pun intended). I am certainly no expert on beards, in fact I couldn’t grow one until I hit my forties, but my guess is that the beard was an evolutionary thing, to make men appear bigger, stronger and more intimidating to their enemies and competitors. Why do you think hockey players sport the playoff beard - it’s not for good luck, but is intended to intimidate the crap out of the opposing team.
Men wear beards for many reasons. They are often worn for religious beliefs. Followers of Islam, Orthodox Judaism, Sikhs, Hindu and Rastafarianism believe strongly that maintaining their beards is a function of their faith. Beards were worn by kings, emperors and world leaders as a symbol of power and aristocracy - Emperor Meiji of Japan, Czar Nicholas of Russia, Henry the 8th, and President Lincoln to name a few. Beards came and went over the ages as fashions changed.
Beats, poets, philosophers, athletes, artists musicians, rebels, hippies, hipsters and grunges all sported beards. Some notable beardo’s include Charles Darwin, Carl Marx, Earnest Hemingway, Brahms, Che Guevara, Castro, Henry David Thoreau, Jesus, Brad Pitt, Alan Ginsburg, Chuck Norris, Walt Whitman, Kimbo Slice, Kenny Rogers, Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill (ZZ Top), Santa Claus, Leonardo Da Vinci, Rasputin, Rembrandt, Gerry Garcia, John Lennon, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Macho-Man Randy Savage, Luciano Pavarotti, Sigmund Freud, Gandalf, Lanny McDonald, Joaquin Phoenix, Colonel Saunders, Curt Cobain and of course you can’t forget Clint!
As I read various webpages about beards, I have come across some interesting anecdotal tidbits of historical facts, truths and hyperbole. Did you know Alexander the Great banned beards in his armies because he was of the opinion that enemy soldiers would grab them in battle? I read that online - it must be true!
So as I said above, there is definitely something going on. I keep seeing these big awesome beards all over the place. Skaters in the parks, hipsters in the coffee shops, bikers (as in cyclists), and musicians, all sporting these big, bushy, kick-ass Viking beards. Call em hip, call em cool, call em funky, whatever. All I can say is this dude, is suffering from kind of beard envy!
I may just have to grow me one of those “Attitude Beards!” Haha! Now that would be a sight as I play my banjo!
